Approaching Couples Therapy
When you see so many marriages ending in divorce; you should take steps not to be the next one. Such therapy is ideal, since it affords you a space to understand where you both are, point out the negative contributions you each make, and learn to communicate better with each other. As much as there is no guarantee for success, you need to do tour best. As you go your separate ways, you will have learned important lessons. When you are ready to try out this therapy, here are the things you will use to succeed in it.
You need to approach it with a positive attitude. You may feel it is weird, or even wrong, but you need not feel so. You will find other couples also have problems, such as division of chores, sex and discussing it, as well as these problems. You need not feel embarrassed. Always have an open mind. Remain considerate as well. No one wants to go to therapy with a partner who shows up late, sulking, and undermining the process.
Aim to hire the services of a well-trained therapist. You should only settle on one who knows how to do their job well. Look at details of their training and certification, experience and references. Choose them based on their specialty, such as sex, trauma, trust issues, same-sex relationships, and others.
Honesty about your feelings is important. Honesty is how you accomplish anything in therapy. Therapy sessions are safe enough for you to open up, no matter how hard it normally is to do so. You need to express yourself in the calmest and most thorough manner.
You need to prepare to have your perspectives on the relationship changed. We tend to act based on our views and opinions about ourselves, our partners and the relationship. When you understand the relationship better, you also need to change some of those beliefs to help you improve the relationship.
You should also accept to change your behavior. Your intention for therapy may have been to get your partner to change. Such a stance leads to failure. You can only do something about your ways. Your partner decides how they will change. Each person attending to their behavior is how the relationship gets better.
You need to also talk about more than the problems. You should be ready to address all the things wrong with the relationship. But also take time to talk about what works. Identify your strengths in the relationship. Such positives are ideal for building a stronger relationship.
Keep such open communication going, not just for the therapy sessions, but in life. Things get better once you can constantly communicate in such a manner.
There is so much to gain from couples therapy. You can discover more about it on this site.
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